Fucking Phantastic

These past weeks have been something close to bliss. Really good people, new people. Unattaching myself from loose ends and unsure anything. "I should have done Movember."  I am truly looking forward to what the next few months have in store. Two big trips. Two parts of my life. Maybe something long lost will be found in the southern parts of the

Americas. What a feeling, that rush of 

excitement, the unknown feeling you will have towards the unknown when it's discovered. What more could you want but to be introduced to new ideas, sights, sounds, smells. It's like seeing again for the first time. Come at me traveling, I'm ready. 

A French name

I met a woman nearly a year ago and had good and bad times with her.  The first time I realized I didn't want to be with her, but damn her body was amazing. As John Mayer would say," your body is a wonderland!"  We split went separate ways but then we came together for a second try.  Didn't work.  She was too controlling and I want to live without constraints.  Only constraints I wan or need are the ones that are put on me by my class, status, age, experience, etc. She was looking for love that she could count on to be there for her at anytime anywhere.  That wasn't me.  Then the awkward period of trying to keep her as a friend, which never works, and I made some mistakes and she made some stupid decisions.  All things In perspective it's for our best that it is finished.  I'm done with her.  I just needed to figure it out.  

Good luck on your journey.

I let myself fall into a trap

As I was reading through past postings, I have two posts that relate in the sense that I wrote down what I had done wrong in the past but then repeated it. I left myself a warning and did not take heed. It is funny how that stuff plays out, because you do not think about anything when that something that catches your eye is in your view. Just another lesson. The two posts were:

Is it winter yet?- Giving myself a warning to what I did wrong in the past
Ghosts of the past- The realization of the mistake I had made, again.

Amazing. Absolutely wonderful how we work, and how complex every one of us are.

Memories

Its amazing how time moves so swiftly, like a tablecloth from beneath china. Everyone and everything does what they do, you can try to affect the decision making process, but nothing is ever really changed. We take for granted the pain that we feel from these situations, because the pain is a sign of being alive, but instead of pushing through we take it into our own hands and dull the pain through many, many different means. If we cannot experience the pain and emotions that make us human, how can we call ourselves humans. It would be more so robotic than anything. Love is the key to this predicament, and im not talking love that you find in a girl you got with last week, i mean the love that takes you out of the picture, the selfless love that makes you want to do anything and everything for that one person. There is a fine line though, and it is easily blurred. What Im talking about is lust, infatuation, the feeling of needing someone or something but only really wanting it. You can die from the loss of a true love. That is not a question of want, but it is necessary to survival. People, if you take anything from this take from it that love does not come around very often, and most people do not get to experience it like I have. But it is time to move on and continue the search for myself along with the search for the other part of my soul.

Woft it, if your a chemist.

Time isnt the issue but the time worth the effort is profound. A situation of positive aspects but negative rebounds.