I let myself fall into a trap

As I was reading through past postings, I have two posts that relate in the sense that I wrote down what I had done wrong in the past but then repeated it. I left myself a warning and did not take heed. It is funny how that stuff plays out, because you do not think about anything when that something that catches your eye is in your view. Just another lesson. The two posts were:

Is it winter yet?- Giving myself a warning to what I did wrong in the past
Ghosts of the past- The realization of the mistake I had made, again.

Amazing. Absolutely wonderful how we work, and how complex every one of us are.

Memories

Its amazing how time moves so swiftly, like a tablecloth from beneath china. Everyone and everything does what they do, you can try to affect the decision making process, but nothing is ever really changed. We take for granted the pain that we feel from these situations, because the pain is a sign of being alive, but instead of pushing through we take it into our own hands and dull the pain through many, many different means. If we cannot experience the pain and emotions that make us human, how can we call ourselves humans. It would be more so robotic than anything. Love is the key to this predicament, and im not talking love that you find in a girl you got with last week, i mean the love that takes you out of the picture, the selfless love that makes you want to do anything and everything for that one person. There is a fine line though, and it is easily blurred. What Im talking about is lust, infatuation, the feeling of needing someone or something but only really wanting it. You can die from the loss of a true love. That is not a question of want, but it is necessary to survival. People, if you take anything from this take from it that love does not come around very often, and most people do not get to experience it like I have. But it is time to move on and continue the search for myself along with the search for the other part of my soul.